Joshua Minden (00:12):

Welcome back to Stories & Other Things Holy. Each week on this podcast, we listen to a story. It's humbling to remember that each of us and everyone we encounter carries a story worth sharing, a story that is meaningful, sacred, and most of all real. Stories can be doorways into deeper connection, and into greater reverence. They invite the quiet courage it takes to be present to whatever Love is asking of us. This week, Terry shares a story of goodbye. A layered living kind of goodbye that unfolds over years. Because part of the Lenton journey, maybe the heart of it, is about letting go, about releasing what may no longer be ours to carry. Sometimes, it's a former version of ourselves we've outgrown or one we may still be grieving. Sometimes, it's a role we no longer play, a certainty we can no longer claim, or a dream that has shifted or quietly slipped away. And sometimes, it's not clear at all. We just feel something leaving or being left. This story is a sacred window into that mystery, and as you listen, you might ask yourself, what am I being asked to say goodbye to? May this story meet you where you are, gently and truly.

(01:43):

Stories & Other Things Holy

Terry Nelson-Johnson (01:55):

Stories & Other Things Holy. Sounds odd to say this way, and, I'm a big fan of the stations of the cross. I had the opportunity to create a narrative version of the stations, the cross for a number of years, and it was just unbelievably rich prayer experience for me. One of the stations has Jesus meeting the women of Jerusalem, and the image I had for that was, it was like a goodbye, a very, very, very poignant goodbye. And it seems to me that part of the experience of Lent moving towards Easter is our willingness to say goodbye to something, some dreams, some hope, some reality, some pain, some version of ourselves, the world. I had an experience that just affirmed that in the kind of way my best friend asked me to be the godfather of his daughter, and I couldn't have been happier or more privileged or more delighted over the prospect.

(03:15):

Turns out that Hattie was a spitfire and I just felt like famous by association for being her godfather, and she was a character and she came in a room and things changed, that kind of thing. And I take no responsibility, but I am delighted in it all. So things evolve and she grows and does high school. She was a rower, a very, very, very accomplished rower. Subsequently went to a very prestigious small liberal arts women's college East, and someplace in there contemplated her own sense of identity and the fruits of not easy, as you can imagine, as I would ask you to imagine, not easy contemplation was that she was imagined that transitioning in terms of her gender identity was what was being asked of her.

(04:19):

And over the course of a couple years, she did that, and the name that was chosen, she chose, he chose was Carter. So Hattie became Carter, and in the course of this, I had conversations with my friend and he just talked about the grief, not bad grief, but deep, deep, deep grief of his experience of releasing his daughter and welcoming his son. There were just profound conversations. It came time for graduation, and Carter appealed to the administration of the women's college to be the first graduate of the women's college as a male, and they welcomed his participation in that, which I thought was something. I also thought it was really important that I go to that graduation and be there for Carter and to be there for my friend and his wife. So made the arrangements, flew out while I'm on the plane, I'm practicing. I don't know if any of you have had this experience of someone in your life transitioning and their name shifts and it is not an easy thing. All those name shifts in the scripture were like, oh, that was great. It all became Paul like, okay. But Hattie, who I knew and held and delighted in became Carter. So I was like, okay, Carter, get to the college. And they have that classic quadrangle grass, all liberal artsy, and I hadn't seen her yet. Wait, see, that's what

(06:05):

I'm talking about. I hadn't seen him yet. And so he's across the quadrangle. We see each other and we do that romantic B movie thing, and then as I gather him in my arms, I'm like, oh, Hattie, I practiced for this moment, for this very moment, and then I released Carter. I held him by the shelters. I'm like, I'm so sorry. I practiced. And Carter was like, that's okay. I'm still saying goodbye to her too. Bamm.

(06:46):

That's okay. I'm still saying goodbye to her too. Thought. That's it. That's what the passion is about. That's what asks on us. That's the spiritual exercise and Lent to say goodbye the women of Jerusalem say goodbye to Jesus. I guess I pray that we contemplate what is it that we're asked to relinquish say goodbye to this Lent and that we might cop to the fact that we're still saying goodbye to it maybe two years later? I don't know. I don't understand. It's a complete mystery to me, but I do know that I was in holy communion as a verb with Carter, as he primarily a me secondarily say goodbye to hay. Amen. Amen. Amen. Bless us, oh Lord, for these thy gifts, just keep receiving from my bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen. Stories and other things. Holy bye.

Joshua Minden (08:23):

Thank you again for joining us for Stories & Other Things Holy.

(08:28):

As you reflect on this episode throughout your week. I pray that you would take advantage of the prayer prompts and reflections in our weekly email newsletter. If you haven't already, sign up on our website stories and other things holy.com. If you would like to share your insights, experiences, or takeaways from this week's story, invite you to email us at connect@otherthingsholy.com.

(08:55):

Thank you again for participating in this community, and we look forward to seeing you again next week for more Stories & Other Things Holy.